January is a welcome time for me after a 3-month hiatus from work (and many other things) due to my recent experiences with intense insomnia, anxiety, and a concussion. I spent 6 weeks being horizontal most of the time, and an additional 6 weeks slowly, very slowly introducing movement and activities back into my life. It was one of the most intense three months of my life. And…it was a gift. The rest I got allowed me to refocus and reprioritize. I feel calmer, more aligned with my values, and grateful for the small joys and connections in my everyday life.
I’m also much more critical of grind culture, and it’s links to capitalism and white supremacy. Grind culture was a big contributor to my anxiety and overwhelm. I was exhausted physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My body had been sending me signals for years that my stress level was too high. But I wasn’t listening. I treated the symptoms, not the cause.
I’m VERY inspired by Tricia Hersey’s book Rest is Resistance, A Manifesto. As a result of my experiences this fall, rest and renewal are central to my wellbeing this January. My 3-month forced rest allowed many of my underlying digestive and respiratory health issues to improve or resolve.
This book inspired me to consider:
- Small, concrete ways to bring rest into our own lives – especially when rest seems impossible.
- Why so many of us feel like machines instead of humans – and the power of imagination as a spiritual practice to reconnect with our humanity.
- Why grind culture – a collaboration of capitalism and white supremacy – wants to keep us exhausted, and how we can resist a culture of overwhelming busy-ness.
- Creative ways to reimagine rest within our hectic daily lives.
I am committed to experimenting with rest in 2023, from working less, to building frequent breaks throughout my workdays. This also means saying no, creating and maintaining boundaries, and asking for help when I need it. I refuse to push myself to the brink of exhaustion again. I will not allow the damage and disconnection that led to a breaking point to take over. I need to trust that there will be space for my gifts and talents without needing to work myself into exhaustion.
One of the tools I look to for guidance is a 20-year-old article called The Characteristics of White Supremacy, that I’ve shared in past work. I am delighted that this work was recently updated as the White Supremacy Culture website. This body of work has informed my thinking of how white supremacist characteristics are so pervasive in our personal, cultural, and organizational experiences. This new website features storytelling, poetry, art, and links to the wisdom of others to offer broader ways of knowing and learning and growing.
I know it won’t be easy to change well-worn patterns and ways of being. This is one step in my own healing, one way of countering white supremacist characteristics of perfectionism, urgency, and productivity. We all need to slow down, and rest together. As Tricia Hersey says, “Rest is a healing portal to our deepest selves. Rest is care. Rest is radical. Like hope, rest is disruptive. It allows space for us to envision new possibilities.”